What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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