Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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