What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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