What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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