How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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