What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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