Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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