So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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