That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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