Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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