What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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