When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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