And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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