What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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