How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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