Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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