Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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