What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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