Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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