That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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