My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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