What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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