What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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