What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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