What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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