What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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