Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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