What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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