How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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