Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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