Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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