Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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