What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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