Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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