What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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