What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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