What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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