How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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