Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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