If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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