What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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