Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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