Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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