What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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