What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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