What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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