What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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