What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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