What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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