What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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