How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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