How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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