What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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