What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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