Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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