What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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