Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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