What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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