What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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