How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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