What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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