What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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