What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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