What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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