How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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