How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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