What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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