How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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