Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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