What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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