Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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