What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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