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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
Because he's Haydn.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
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What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutes playing in unison.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?
Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.
Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer
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