What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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