Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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