Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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