What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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