How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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