How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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