Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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