What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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