How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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