How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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