What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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