What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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