How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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