Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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