What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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