What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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