Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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