How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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