Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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