How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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