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What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutes playing in unison.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A Flat Major
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?
Night manager at McDonalds
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
Because he's Haydn.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?
Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
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