What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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