How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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