How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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