What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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