What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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