How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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