Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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