What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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