I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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