I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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