What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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