Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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