What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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