If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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