What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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