How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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