What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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