A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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