What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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