Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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