A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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