Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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