Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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