Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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