Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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