What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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