H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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