Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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