Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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