What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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