A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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