Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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