What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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