Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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