What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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