What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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