Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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