What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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