What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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