A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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