Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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