Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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