Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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