Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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