Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Iíve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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