Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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