I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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